A Week Of Crazies: Camp Half-Blood
by Daebak Fai
Summary: When Chiron goes on a 'holiday', the campers (and Mr. D) get up to all sorts of tricks. One week of CHAOS, FUN, and CRAZYNESS! Just what will the campers do? Read and Review!
1. Prologue

**A Week Of Crazies: Camp Half-Blood**

**Prologue**

The mood of the campers was considerably high. After all, they had just won the Giant War, right? WRONG! Well, yes, they had won the Giant War and made peace with the Romans, but that wasn't the reason why they were happy. The truth is, the campers had been bored. BORED. B-O-R-E-D. Camp routine had gone on as usual, but the last fun thing that had happened was two weeks ago when the Stolls had posted a picture of Chiron in haircurlers on Demigod Facebook. After that, their creative juices for pranks had run as dry as Mrs O'Leary's bone, which was for once not saturated with drool as its owner had gone to the Underworld with Nico to visit Cerberus.

So of course, when the new (and highly likely to break eardrums in the future) intercom system designed by Leo told the campers to gather at the amphitheater, they were excited.

"Ahem. Campers, please stop your antics. We are beginning," Chiron galloped into the amphitheater and yelled. A silence quickly swept over camp, apart from the sound of waves crashing against the beach. When Chiron was about to begin, a hellhound and demigod leaped out of his shadow, crashing into him.

"Hi guys-wait, did we just gate-crash again?" Nico asked as he glanced around the amphitheater, noting the number of campers.

"Nico Di Angelo, get Mrs O'Leary off me!" Chiron wheezed. Her weight was something not to be trifled with.

"Sorry. Up, Mrs O'Leary!" Nico clicked his fingers, and the hellhound followed him to the side of the amphitheater, where it found its good old bone.

"Now, I hope that we will not have any more interruptions," Chiron continued, glaring at Nico, who shrugged in apology. "Anyway, I have called this meeting to inform you-"

A voice cut in. "He's going on holiday! Get to the point already!" Mr. D called from his seat in the front row, waving a bottle of wine. Chiron pulled a terse smile.

"Yes, I am going on 'holiday'. I'm-" He winced, "-supervising the Party Ponies for a week."

"GOD SAVE AMERICA AND DOLPHINS!" Mr D yelled as he fell off his seat.

Chiron arched an eyebrow. "Pollux," He said, gesturing to the poor, unfortunate demigod who just happened to be seated beside his father, "Is he drunk?"

Pollux buried his head in his hands. "No, he just has too much alcohol in his system. Yes, he's as drunk as a skunk."

"Can a skunk even get drunk?" Travis asked his brother.

"Shall we try it?"

"If it works, let's release it into the Demeter cabin," Travis whispered, glancing at Katie Gardener, head councillor of said cabin, a few rows away.

"Ignoring the fact that Mr. D's sentence will probably be extended to another 200 years-" Everyone groaned at the thought as Chiron continued. "-I am leaving today to supervise the Party Ponies. Apparently, Zeus wants me to ensure that they do not set off fireworks for an entire week."

"That's because Daddy Dearest is having a week with Hera," Dionysus waggled his eyebrows in an insinuating manner.

Chiron sighed. "I'll be back in a week. Try not to leave this place in ruins," He took out a key, turned it as if it was in a lock, and opened a doorway. Nodding to the demigods, he picked up his luggage, and walked through.

"Janus owes him," Mr. D explained, before swigging from another bottle of wine. Thunder rumbled, but nothing happened. Yet.

Mr. D staggered off in the direction of the Big House. "I expect to see the camp blowing up in a few hours," He smirked, "No pressure."

**Yup, incomplete fanfic #4. I am crazy.**

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**Butter broke the computer.**


	2. Chapter 1

**A Week Of Crazies: Camp Half-Blood**

**Chapter 1- Day 1**

It was squabble time at the camp. Athena cabin was accusing Hephaestus cabin for the Revenge of the Automaton Spiders (read Class Olympus to understand); Hermes cabin was stealing the spiders and releasing them into the Athena cabin; Aphrodite cabin was trying to persuade Ares cabin to wear make-up; Ares cabin was slashing dummies with the names of the Aphrodite campers written on them; Nemesis cabin was provoking and stopping fights; and the cabin counsellors were trying to get everything sorted out.

Finally, the intercom system crackled to life and Leo's voice was heard. "People, please SHUT THE HADES UP before I burn down the camp!" Once the noise had died down, he spoke.

"Mr. D said, and I quote, 'If you all don't get your puny little butts out of the camp, I'll transform everyone into dolphins!' Though being a dolphin doesn't seem too bad in my opinion, he also said, 'and reveal my true form in front of you so you all die' Now, since that isn't on my to-do list today, I advise everyone to follow his advice by going to the arcade and have fun!" Leo gasped for breath, which sent screechy sounds through the intercom.

"And that was the amazing Leo Valdez, supreme commander of the Argo II, the hottest dude in existence- what do you mean, I'm not the hottest dude in existence? OW! JASON! PIPER!" There was a heavy thud as Leo was dragged away from the microphone.

Then, Piper took the mic. "Sorry guys, change of plan thanks to Mr. D. We're selling strawberries. It's a competition. Whoever makes the most money wins!"

Will Solace choked on his toast. "What the Hades!"

Lou Ellen dropped Miranda Gardener's nose. "What the Hades!"

Clarisse stopped hacking at the hog head on her cabin wall. "What the Hades!"

In the Underworld, Hades yelled, "WHAT THE ME! STOP USING MY NAME TO CURSE!"

Bianca facepalmed. "Dad, they can't hear you."

Anyway, back in the land of the living, trucks were being loaded with strawberries and campers. They drove to different streets in New York, and set up their stalls. Let's see how each cabin is doing...

**A/N The format will be like this: time, _cabin (_campers, _strawberries left, $_made)**

**9 am, Zeus Cabin (1 Camper, 500 strawberries, $0)**

Jason slumped on a chair and sighed. It was no fun setting up a strawberry stall with no one to help him. Thanks Thalia.

**9 am, Poseidon Cabin (1 Camper, 500 strawberries, $0)**

Percy poured his strawberries into a tub of water and started to play football.

"And Strawberry #5 scores a goal!" He whooped.

"Wait. Was it on my team?"

**10 am, Ares Cabin (42 Campers, 0 strawberries, $400)**

Ares Cabin had abandoned the strawberries by the side of the road, given the truck a hasty paint job and became highway robbers.

"Your money or your life!" Clarisse growled, wearing a Chinese opera mask and pointing a water pistol at a passer-by as her cabin mates surrounded him. The poor guy handed over the money and they ran back to the truck.

"Clarisse, do we really have to wear this?" Her second in command, Matt, complained. He pulled off his elephant mask as soon as the passer-by was out of sight.

"Shut up." Did I mention that the truck looked like a giant radioactive clunk of metal? With the words 'WE BEAT THE FRIGGING DRAKON' spray-painted on its sides?

**10.30 am, Athena Cabin (30 campers, 450 strawberries, $50)**

The Athena Cabin had been doing relatively well in honesty, for they hadn't overcharged their customers, or stole money. Unfortunately, they hadn't made much money.

**10.30 am, Nemesis Cabin (7 Campers, 450 strawberries, $100)**

Natalie Carter, a daughter of Nemesis, was bargaining with a customer for the price of a box of strawberries. Finally, the customer left with the box feeling like she had gotten a good deal, but in reality, she had been way over charged. No matter. The next customer would get the strawberries cheap. Balance was the key.

**11 am, Hades Cabin, (3 Campers, 360 strawberries, $230)**

Unlike Percy and Jason, Nico had managed to get two extra pairs of helping hands: Hazel and Frank, who had tagged along once he saw what the Ares cabin was doing. He really didn't feel like wearing a Spongebob Squarepants mask. Due to Hazel's quick use of the tunnels under the city, they had managed to secure an excellent and crowded spot before the others. There was also the fact that Frank had turned into a fluffy chinchilla (after much coaxing from Hazel that Nico did not want to ever see again) and people were looking at the adorable lil thing-I mean Frank, of course. Plus, they had put up a sign stating that all proceeds would go to Frank the Chinchilla, which was technically true. Well, one third of the proceeds.

**Hypnos Cabin (3 campers, 200 strawberries, $0.20)**

While the Hypnos cabin had also picked a busy location like the Hades cabin, had the same number of campers and strawberries at first, they weren't doing as well. Upon setting up the stall, all three campers had fallen asleep. And the ever-so-helpful Connor Stoll had placed a sign stating that the strawberries were free. So in three hours, they had 200 strawberries left, and made only $0.20 that Clovis had picked up from the road.

**11am, Demeter Cabin (30 campers, 300 strawberries, $340)**

**11 am, Hermes Cabin (40 campers, 200 strawberries, $150)**

The Hermes cabin had of course set up their stall close to the Demeter cabin just to annoy them. There was always close competition between the two cabins, and this was no exception. But this time, it seemed that to the Hermes cabin that they were winning. However, they didn't see the strawberries growing spindly little legs and arms, toddling to the coin box, picking up money and sneaking to the Demeter cabin's stall through the sewer system. Once there, their notes and coins handed over, they were placed in a tub to get the sewer stench off, then moved carefully to be replanted in garden soil with loving care.** (I need to write a outtake about this-Life of a Strawberry or something)** For the first time, people were stealing from the Stolls, not the other way around. GARDEN MAGIC FOR THE WIN!

**12 noon, Nike Cabin (11 campers, 270 strawberries, $300)**

When the Nike cabin is on your side, victory is in the bag for you. The children of the goddess of victory normally would prevail on the battlefield (as in the Capture the Flag battlefield). However, they weren't that handy with bargaining. I'm pretty sure Nike should add that into her list of attributes of her children.

**1 pm, Apollo Cabin, (45 campers, 500 strawberries, $12)**

The Apollo Cabin had decided to act out the Duck Song to advertise. Unfortunately, an overexcited camper had crushed the strawberries while reversing the truck. No , with squashed strawberries floating around in their blood** (juice)** in paper cups, they began.

"There was this duck at the lemonade-strawberry stand," They chanted. A duck/person in a duck costume waddled up to the stand. A few people tossed them money.

"Who said..." They waited for the famous line.

Instead, they heard Will Solace's muffled voice. "When the £%&#€¥*^ ! can I get out of this stupid costume!" The passer-bys covered their children's ears.

So they switched to making on the spot poems and ditched the strawberries.

**(Sorry if the lyrics are a bit wrong.)**

**2 pm, Iris Cabin (10 campers, 100 strawberry milk shakes, $450)**

The Iris cabin had made strawberry milkshakes, and they were selling like crazy! Considering that the day was sweltering hot, it wasn't that much of a surprise. Plus, they were giving away free organic rainbow cupcakes as well. Some had sugar unicorns on them.

**3pm, Zeus & Poseidon Cabin (2 campers, 980 strawberries, $20)**

Jason and Percy had combined their stalls. However, their business wasn't doing so well. It could been due to the fact that half of the strawberries were liquidified and the other half charred.

**4 pm, Demeter Cabin (30 campers, 150 strawberries, $500)**

**4 pm, Hermes Cabin (40 campers 0 strawberries, $180)**

Demeter cabin was still going strong, but the Hermes cabin had run out of strawberries. With only $180, they needed to come up with something if they wanted to win.

"Alright, guys. What's the plan?" Travis called a meeting.

"For some reason, we didn't make much money even though we've sold all our strawberries," Connor reported.

"Maybe the Demeter cabin stole our money?" A new camper suggested timidly.

"People don't steal from the Hermes cabin! We steal from them!" Travis proclaimed. Across the street, Katie Gardener smirked. How wrong he was...

"Well, what are we going to do?"

Crickets chirp.

Chris snapped his fingers. "I got it!"

Half an hour later, the Hermes cabin were at the nearest mall. To be precise, the nearest mall with a fountain. Yup, that was what Chris had suggested. Fountain fishing.

Armed with snorkels, they scrambled into the gigantic fountain. Elegantly carved with marble, it was the largest fountain they had ever seen. And it had a whole lot of coins.

Connor's head broke through the surface of the water again. Dumping the handful of coins into the bag at the side, he grinned as they jingled merrily when the bag was shaken. Then he saw a lone figure walking towards the fountain. His face fell.

Grabbing the air horn from his belt (which had other stuff like aerosol sprays, hair dye, and pranking gear), he pressed it.

"SECURITY'S A-COMING! GET THE HADES OUTTA HERE!" He howled. The campers leapt out, grabbed their bags, began humming the Mission Impossible theme song, and bolted past the shocked security guard, who chased after them when he realised what was going on.

Mall XXXX, you should really fire him. His response time was five FRIGGING minutes! And they're children of Hermes, the dude with winged sandals! How in Hades was he going to catch up with them? Well, that's easy. He didn't.

Luckily, he also didn't notice the small bubbles emitting from the barely visible tip of Anna Deyer's snorkel. The 12 year old camper was new, so she didn't know the code: When the air horn sounds, grab the cash and run. So when she got out of the water a few minutes later, she was shocked. Then she saw the wet footprints leading out of the mall. Grabbing the bag of money, she followed them, dashing past the security guard who once again, failed to catch her.

First time can be forgiven. BUT THE SECOND TIME? Fire him already!

**Camp Half-Blood**

Campers gathered around the camp fire, cash in their pockets. Shockingly, the currently soaking wet Hermes Cabin had made the second greatest amount of money **($700)** with all their Fountain Fishing. And yes, Anna had managed to catch up with them before they went to five other malls. First was the Ares cabin **($800)**, their water pistols now empty. And third, was the Demeter cabin** ($650)**, fuming after losing to the Hermes cabin.

Anyway, Mr. D was here to announce the prize for the winning cabin. Taking his one thousand, three hundred and eighty-two swig from his four hundred and seventy-eighth bottle, he stumbled over to the microphone and slurred, "Hello, puny brats-"

The campers protested.

"Whatever, shut up. Anyway the winner is the Ashley cabin-" He was interrupted yet again by a roar of outrage from the Ashley-I mean, Ares cabin.

"Blah blah blah, stop whining, blah blah blah, trust me your dad was called Ashley back then, look at his baby photos, blah blah blah...**[the rest of Mr. D's speech has been cut out to save humanity.]**

"The prize is tickets to one of Demeter's lectures on cereal." Stunned silence followed. Before the Ares cabin could utter a single word, Mr. D snapped his fingers. A 'poof' sound came in the direction of the Ares cabin, and a purple smoke enveloped them. When it had dissipated, they were gone.

"Cereal is very benefical towards mankind. Without cereal, the entire structure of time would collapse. We must eat cereal everyday to remain healthy. Home made cereal is best eaten immediately, while..." Demeter droned on. Clarisse banged her head on the table. Matt was vandalising the table with drawings of cereal being destroyed. Mark, his twin, was vandalising another table with drawings of cereal being hanged, drawn, and quartered. Dwight was vandalising yet another table with drawings of cereal being crushed by Origami Yoda using the Force. And the list went on...

**At the point of my writing this, it is the day before my exam. Athena willing, I will survive! Please review if you liked the story! Constructive critisism is welcomed!**

***fizz***

**Butter broke the computer.**


	3. Chapter 2

**A Week Of Crazies: Camp Half-Blood**

**Hey people of the universe! Fai here. Changed my name. Reason? Daebak means awesome/good luck in Korean. Not that I'm awesome or anything—I'm just a average tween—but the word is so catchy! And thanks to the ONLY three people who reviewed! Guys seriously, please review. It's depressing when you see that 100 people read the story but only 3 reviewed. Gah, now I sound like a whiny prat! Sorry guys. Ignore me. On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I ain't Rick Riordan...I'm a SKITTLE! TASTE THE RAINBOW!**

**Chapter 2**

Clarisse started to slash at dummies in the training arena. Her cabinmates were picking fights again, and she didn't feel like stopping them. Thus, she went to the training arena for some peace and quiet. If you call 'peace and quiet' the sound of dummy heads dropping to the floor.

"Mark." She muttered. _Stupid Brother #1._

"Matt." _Stupid Brother #2._

"Dwight." _Stupid Brother #3._ She could have gone on all day, but she stopped when she heard the announcement for the counsellors' meeting.

Leo was eating some home-made tacos when Jason and Piper passed by.

"Hey guys. Where are you going?" He asked. Did the tacos have sugar? He felt on the verge of going hyper again.

"We're going to the Big House. Didn't you hear? There's a meeting," Jason looked at him suspiciously. Were those Skittles he saw in the tacos?

"What...hehe...TASTE THE RAINBOW!" Leo crammed the rest of the Skittles tacos into his mouth, spazzing out as he did so. The other two merely sighed and began to drag Leo with them. Usual protocol when Leo went hyper.

If Jason thought that Camp Half-Blood meetings were 'wild' even when Chiron was there, it was ten times worse when he was gone. Frank and Hazel were playing Stick the Moustache on Seymour, much like Pin the Tail on the Donkey (except that when you play the latter, your limbs remain intact). Travis and Connor were hiding from Katie and Miranda, who were holding flowerpots—a dangerous weapon indeed—and looked furious. Easter Bunnies again? Meanwhile, Natalie (Nemesis cabin) and Claire (Tyche cabin) were pouring fortune cookies into Clovis's mouth. They were also betting on whether he would be lucky or unlucky after the experience.

Soon, Annabeth—the only sane one besides Jason and Piper—rapped her dagger on the ping-pong table and called the meeting to order. Seymour ate the moustache (and almost had Frank's finger as a side dish). Katie and Miranda dragged the Stolls out from under the table, and stuffed their heads into the flowerpots. To top it all off, Clovis threw up over everyone.

After fifteen minutes of disinfectant, grumbling, cursing, and fortune cookie bits, the meeting finally began.

"What are we going to do today?" Flowerpot T asked.

"Today, what we are going to do?" Flowerpot C asked like Yoda.

"I don't—I'm not sure," Annabeth didn't want to admit that she didn't know something. _Damn __fatal flaws._

"So, what are we going to do?" Frank cleared his throat.

"Gardening?"

"Capture the Flag?"

"Maths?"

"Sleep—" Percy was cut off when all the chairs collapsed and jelly splattered on the counsellors' heads. Well, with the exception of three counsellors, all with smirks on their faces. Well, you couldn't see the faces of two of them, but you could guess that they had smirks on their faces.

"Leo...Travis...Connor...DIE!" The counsellors lunged at the said demigods, who ran for their lives, hooting with laughter. They weren't caught. Sadly.

An hour later, the three fugitives were at the command room in Bunker 9. According to Buford, Scout Table 007.5, there were a line of Ares campers surrounding the entrance, Apollo campers with their bows behind, and a furious Annabeth in front. They weren't too worried about the Ares and Apollo campers, but Annabeth was terrifying.

"Why did we do this?" Leo moaned, banging his head against the wall. His sugar high had been replaced with a pounding headache. Ouch.

"I dunno." Flowerpot T searched for a hammer to break the pot.

"We're doomed. Annabeth will torture us, hand us over to the campers whom we pranked, and make sure she kills us in the end." Flowerpot C found the hammer, but hit Leo's thumb with it.

"What the heck, Connor!" Leo sucked his throbbing thumb.

"Sorry." Connor tried to sound contrite. Or like he had just gotten Skittles for his birthday.

"Hey guys. What's happening?" Rachel Elizabeth Dare walked into the command room, hands on her hips. The boys grinned sheepishly.

"Pranking again?"

"How'd ya know?" Travis asked. Connor and Leo facepalmed.

"She's the Oracle, stupid."

"I'm the Oracle, stupid."

"Whatever. How did you get in Bunker 9?" The only way in that Leo knew was the huge stone wall. And you needed the Amazing Leo Valdez to open that.

Rachel shrugged. "There's a side entrance."

"Then we can get out of here!" They exclaimed. Rachel shook her head.

"I could sense sixty different traps in the passage. Barely managed to get through."

"Why did you come in the first place?"

"Um, because I totally had a prophecy going: _Sons of the thief and son of the forge, hunted by a grey-eyed girl full of rage—_" She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I ran out of Gatorade."

"Okay...can you help us escape?"

"Sure."

The Stolls and Leo followed Rachel down the twisting corridor to the passage that led to the side entrance. Rachel stopped before a stone door.

"The traps start here," she warned. They nodded.

"We can sense them." Leo placed his hand on the imprint in the stone door. "FLAME ON!" Fire crackled to life on his hand, streaming through the veins in the door.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." Anyway, they started. After crawling under a wire which would have sent Percy's socks down (yes, they are that smelly), they leapt over a land mine, nearly fell into a pit of dracenae, and managed to walk one-fifth of the passage. Only a fifth of the passage...

An hour later, they were almost at the exit. Carefully, Travis cut the nearly-invisble tripwire with Leo's wirecutters.

"Let's get out of here!" Leo whooped and ran out, Travis and Connor following. Rachel hung back, a sly smile on her face as she slipped out a video camera from her pocket.

The moment the boys exited, they were tackled by three buff Ares campers. Clarisse grinned, coming out of the bushes.

"How—" Travis spluttered.

"Who—" Connor choked.

"TEAM LEO!" Leo whooped.

"You told them?"

"Huh? No, I just felt like shouting Team Leo," The others glared at him incredulously.

Rachel bent over laughing. "Clarisse, you totally owe me one!" Travis whirled around and saw the video camera that had been recording everything. He lunged for it, but Clarisse jerked him back by his collar.

"Not now, punk. Let's go find Annabeth. Thanks Rachel." Clarisse and the other Ares campers dragged them to the Athena cabin.

"It was Rachel?" Connor whispered.

"Yeah! What a doublecrosser!" Travis groaned. They were locked up in one of the rooms in the Big House while the campers debated on what to do with them.

"Do you think we can escape?"

Travis shook his head. "Three campers guarding the door, fifteen surrounding the house outside. We won't stand a chance."

The three start to contemplate their fate and think of s'mores. And Skittles. And Butterbeer from Harry Potter. So good...

Anyway, there was a sudden tap on the door. Rachel stuck her head through.

"Guys! You need to get out of here!" She hissed.

"Nope. Not fooled."

"Nitwits! I'm giving you a chance to escape! Everyone's gone to—ahem, inspect the lake." Leo shuddered.

"I've sent the guards away. Hurry up! Annabeth is really mad!" She did seem genuine though. Was Rachel a _triplecrosser_?

Warily, the boys got to their feet and ventured out. Leo hung back.

"Do you have Skittles?" He asked. Oh crud. He was on a sugar high again. Rachel searched her pockets and found a Mars bar. She offered it.

"She's with the enemy! Hide!" Leo jumped into a box. Rachel face-palmed and left, T&C following.

However, the moment they left the house, clothes and make-up appeared and enveloped Travis and Connor. The campers held their video cameras. Rachel grinned.

"Quadruple crosser!"

Leo, lucky guy, was still in the box.

**Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-lay! Please review people! I NEED NOURISHMENT! XD Bye!**

**~ðæβακ Γαï**


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